ginebra won game 2 of the quarterfinals yesterday. their best-of-five series with redbull is now tied 1-1.

it made me happy. somehow.

somehow. i still feel sad about what my mom and sister did to me last monday. they ganged up on me. think of a cinderella-with-her-two-wicked-stepsisters moment. it feels so damn bad.

i was so freakin' affected, i almost left home the day after.

for the longest time, i have been harboring this bad feeling towards my mom.

i so hate her i feel i could die.

i think i should be over the "i hate you, you're ruining my life!" phase but i still am not. i am actually at the peak of it.

gawd. i need to get out of here. i need to breathe some mommy-free air. the one thing that stops me from leaving is money. i hardly have some.

and so, i have decided, to work in a call center. next week, i will go to Makati and hopefully get myself employed in one of the call centers there.

i have nothing against the CSR job but the thought of working as one made me sad.

weeks ago, i did something i never did before--i planned and mapped out my way to being a columnist. deciding and actually planning for my future was NEVER my thing and so, somehow, i felt proud of myself for i did so.

i thought i would take any writing job no matter how low the salary may be, gain some experience, develop the craft, write good articles and soon be one of the PDI's columnists.

i would learn to come up with good write-ups automatically, without having to pull it from an extreme emotion.

i would take writing courses. i would be active, going from this event to another, talking to this person and the other.

i thought i so planned it out, i was so sure i could do it and i can wait a little longer for that first opportunity.

but i can't wait anymore. i need the money and i need to get out of here. ASAP. so goodbye to that self-declared well-planned out path towards being a columnist...for now.

despite the despair of having to put aside that plan, i am still hopeful i can get back on that track soon.

oh yeah. that's the spirit.

as the Ginebra Gin Kings' mantra goes, "NEVER SAY DIE."